Choosey
In grade school if someone invited me somewhere, I had to find out everything about the invite. I needed all the info to ask my mom if I could go. If she didn’t know that person as my good friend nor their parents, it was already a no. This invite had to be from someone my mom knew.
Once I was 18 and in college, if I got an invite somewhere, there was a high possibility I was going. However, I still wanted to know everything about the invite. I didn’t need to get permission. I wanted to alleviate unexpected surprises.
At least once, you should’ve experienced this.
There also should’ve been a time when you followed through with an invite, without all the deets and it ended in disaster. Sometimes you might’ve kept putting yourself in a situation thinking it would get better, but everything was still off. It might’ve even gotten to the point of thinking something was wrong with you. “Can we talk about depression?”
However, after so many trials or after shifting your environment, your thoughts and focus changed. The invites you received you knew were stable even without the full deets. You knew the atmosphere would be acceptable to your taste. Now the people are better, there’s more trust, and the time spent is fun. It’s an environment of like-mindedness,
FINALLY!
There’s value in having space, knowing time, checking finances, and feeling vibes. As for myself, I’ve had enough trial and error to now know who and what I like to be around. There’s different strokes for different folks and that’s okay. I choose people in atmospheres that are uplifting, supportive, chill, fun, and real. No funny business here please.
If you find a new atmosphere from a solo venture, there are still people you may meet. From the interaction you’ll know quickly if you’re down to hang out again or delete contacts and carry on with life. When you know the vibe, you’ll choose what’s best for you. Even in quarantine.
That's the hopeful goal!
In all, energy is important. If you’re not fully there with self-acceptance which may add to shaky atmospheres, it’s okay. Things take time. You’re living your life. Just remember to allow yourself time to grow. Experiment as necessary and with caution.
If you’re down with the clique, down with the solo ventures, a pro in all virtual gatherings, just know your vibe. Your feelings are important, your health is important, your security is important, your peace is important, and the atmosphere you choose to be in is important. So just know, if I’m receiving an invite, I need the full deets. In return, I’ll give the full deets. If I have to guess about the energy or if anxiety overwhelms me from the “who all gon be there” or "what we finna do," truth is..."I'm not going to that."
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