Separation Pt. 1

We love love.

We love love so much that it may have even been ingrained in us from childhood while watching fairytale princess movies and love/drama series. How many times have we rooted for certain fictitious relationships and imagined our own? How many times have we cried when the persons on the big screen’s hyped love didn’t work out? Oh let’s not forget how sometimes we may have even chosen teams when it came to love triangles.

In all, relationships can be great! However one thing that’s missed quite often is how real separation and separation anxiety are. What should you even do during that time if and when it comes to that point?

Relationships haven’t even been the same since…

Uhm…we need to talk about how love and relationships haven’t been the same since 90s R&B Music... Or better yet, when those R&B singing men stopped dancing and singing in the rain or fully clothed singing in the desert.

Have those types of love and relationships withered?

This is exactly why, there needs to be a real discussion and outlook on separation. All relationships are not one-size-fits-all. We go through some hurdles, head bumps, and toxic repetition that sometimes require an honest look at childhood trauma, generational curses, selfishness, insecurities, competition, and even miscommunication.

Love doesn’t have to always require struggle, but what happens when there is le struggle?

Is it true that all good things must come to an end? Well it depends on who you ask. In a relationship it’s not just about you. There is a point where you have to think about the other person too. You have to love them, sometimes see them through their darkest moments, and pray that the love languages you show are fully reciprocated in making things work vice versa.

Now we don’t condone abuse of any kind.

Let’s not forget the trauma and abuse that we may try to hide or that hinders us while in our relational experiences. Yes, trauma is real. Yes, hurt people hurt people. Only the real ones will understand that healing isn’t just for a season but healing is ongoing, it’s a commitment to our inner self, it’s a tool to help us navigate better through the waters that once tried to drown us. Sometimes in relationships, one or both partners can be ignorant to their need for healing and put all the blame on a person or thing. No! Take matters into your own hands and make sure that what you are doing or allowing isn’t actual abuse, and if it is in any way, healing and a huge change is needed for yourself as well as forgiveness.

Healing is important!

So even if the separation happens temporarily, our healing can come through the separation phase. We have to allow life to do its work, but we also need to be real. The love hasn’t been the same since…*insert the cultured saying*